How To Achieve Lasting Happiness, Living The Best Life

Do you constantly wonder how can you achieve long-lasting happiness and living your best life?!

What does it take to live up to our full potential, if at all possible? I doubt there is someone who doesn’t care to know, I’m sure we can all agree on that…

How of Happiness

Happiness is the brass ring that mankind continues to search for, yet it invariably eludes him. It’s one of the hardest tasks in life to harness and to master. When the circumstances are dictating that there is little optimism to go around – our souls sink deeper into desolation and despondency.

Ultimately though, if we want to find happiness we need to be able to see that there is light in the dark. Many would find this advice stereotyped but the spiritual leader of the Tibetan people, the Dalai Lama, wouldn’t agree. He is a giant among men who understands happiness- check his book below!

 

If you, like me, are fascinated by the human quest to understand the underpinnings of happiness, then this article and the 7th Episode of Fighterpreneur’s Life Podcast was created with you in mind.

(Listen Here)

In his book, The Art of Happiness, the Dalai Lama shares his secrets to a life of contentment.

I compiled a summarized overview of his insights on how to achieve lasting happiness, why compassion and intimacy are so important, and how you can overcome suffering and negative states of mind.

Let’s get started!

#1. Don’t Focus On External Circumstances.

Most people would readily agree that the purpose of life is to seek happiness. Yet, for some reason we often see happiness itself as something mysterious and hard to define, and we have a poor understanding of what makes us happy. According to the Dalai Lama, by training one’s mind it is possible to learn how to be happier.

External events can affect a person’s happiness in the short-term, but our level of happiness tends to revert back to a certain baseline soon after the event.

 

Winning the lottery only produces a short-lived happiness “high,” which subsides quickly. Similarly, people who face sudden and tragic health problems like a diagnosis of cancer or paralysis typically – after a period of grieving – recover their previous level of happiness.

Hence, it seems no specific external conditions can really affect our happiness in the long run.

Our mental state, however, constantly affects how we perceive the world. Consider, for example, how negative emotions skew our view of other people: when we’re angry, even dear friends can seem annoying, cold and hostile.

It is possible to train your mind, so that you identify and cultivate positive mental states while eliminating the negative ones. This eventually brings a calmness that allows you to live a happy, joyous life no matter what the external situation.

Do your very best focusing and paying attention only on what you can control, rather than reacting to outside circumstances we can’t influence.

#2. Cultivate Universal Compassion.

The Dalai Lama places great emphasis on developing and cultivating compassion. It is an important component of not only Buddhist spiritual development but also of robust, lasting happiness.

Compassion is a state of mind that is non-aggressive: a wish to see all other living creatures free from suffering. The mental and physical benefits range from experiencing an emotional “high” after helping others, to gaining a longer life expectancy yourself.

 

To cultivate compassion, try to be empathetic towards others and actively try to understand things from their perspective. An effective method for this is to understand their backgrounds and focus on the commonalities you share.

Say, for example, your cab driver tries to overcharge you. Instead of getting angry, you could think about what you and the driver have in common, like that you are both tired, hungry and want to get back to your families. Then, try to examine yourself in their shoes: How would you feel? This usually helps you develop empathy and reduce the anger you would feel, leading to more compassion and a happier life.

#3. Build Close, Intimate Relationships

Having close relationships with other people promotes both physical and mental well-being, but the Western viewpoint that deep intimacy can only be achieved through a romantic relationship can be problematic, since people who don’t find such a relationship often feel lonely and unhappy. Lasting relationships, on the other hand, are based on respect and appreciation of the other person.

 

This kind of relationship requires knowing the deeper nature of the other person, which requires time. The Dalai Lama himself said he felt an intimate connection with a wide array of people around him (for example, his tutors and cooks). He even went as far as discussing state affairs with a cleaner sweeping the floors. By embracing the countless opportunities to connect to other people every day, we can lead happier lives.

#4. Find Your Way To Spirituality

The benefits of a strong religious conviction are well-documented in numerous studies and range from happier families to better health. But spirituality is not dependent on any specific religion; the Dalai Lama believes any of the world’s major religions can offer people a happier life. In fact, there is also a kind of spirituality that exists completely outside of the sphere of religious belief: it comprises basic human qualities like goodness, compassion and caring for one another, and it is therefore attainable by atheists and religious people alike.

For example, if you find yourself in a situation where you are tempted to insult someone, you can practice basic spirituality by challenging that wish and restraining yourself from indulging it. Embracing these qualities brings us closer to all of humanity, helping us become calmer, happier and more peaceful.

#5. Accept Suffering As a Natural Quality Of Life

Westerners tend not to understand that suffering is a part of life and often see themselves as victims of some malignant force when something goes wrong. But suffering is inevitable; all of us will grow old and die.

Eastern cultures seem to be more accepting of this fact, perhaps because people in Asia tend to live in closer proximity to poverty and daily suffering than their Western counterparts. Trying to avoid or ignore this fact is only a temporary solution.

When you inevitably do encounter suffering in one form or another, your mental attitude becomes of paramount importance. If you fear suffering as something unnatural and unfair, you will feel like a victim and assign blame when you should be trying to eliminate the mental root causes of suffering. Suffering may be natural, but we often inadvertently magnify it ourselves by actively subjecting ourselves to unnecessary anguish. By accepting that suffering is natural, you can confront and analyze its causes – including whether you may be partially creating it – and begin to lead a happier life.

#6. Eliminate Negative Attitudes And Feelings

The Dalai Lama believes that negative states of mind like anger and fear are obstructions that stop us from achieving our natural, happy state. They are poisons. But certain positive states of mind—love, compassion, patience, generosity—can act as antidotes to them, eliminating harmful emotions, attitudes and behaviors. Hence, to eliminate negativity, positive emotions and behaviors should be habitually cultivated.

Depressed people, for example, often have a distorted way of thinking: they may focus their thoughts exclusively on negative things, such as trouble at work or financial difficulties, and completely overlook the fact that they have much to be happy about, like good health and a charming, loving family. Studies have proven that correcting these distorted modes of thinking can make people happier.

We can eliminate negative attitudes, feelings and habits only through sustained effort and determination to change.

#7. Find The Good In Every Situation

When people encounter a negative situation, they tend to see it rigidly as 100% negative. Generally though, most situations contain both positive and negative elements and can be viewed from several alternative angles. For example, you might consider having to sit next to an annoying, flatulent person on a plane as a purely negative situation, or you could see it as an opportunity to practice patience and tolerance.

Such a switch can also help you find meaning in pain and suffering. When you next encounter obstacles in your life, do not wallow in self-pity and cry “Why me?!” but instead consider it a chance to become stronger. Find purpose in suffering, and thrive.

The ability to shift perspectives is facilitated by having a so-called supple mind: a certain mental flexibility. Anyone can develop this flexibility by deliberately trying to shift perspectives as we encounter unpleasant events in life.

#8. Get Rid Of Negative Feelings

Of all the negative mental states, anger and hatred are the greatest obstacles to happiness. When a feeling of anger or hatred arises in us, it rapidly destroys our peace of mind. It also obliterates our judgment, often leading us to take actions that only worsen the situation and make us even angrier.

Scientific studies have clearly demonstrated that tendencies toward anger, rage and hostility have negative health effects, too; for example, they substantially increase a person’s risk of heart disease. By applying such a logical appraisal to the anger, and by trying to replace negative feelings with thoughts of patience and tolerance, the anger often dilutes.

#9. Replace Negative Feelings With Positive Feelings

Anger and hatred cannot be overcome by simply suppressing them. On the other hand, venting anger (i.e. raging and shouting) tends to increase negative feelings, not reduce them. Hence, the correct response to anger is to learn how to use the antidotes of patience and tolerance against it, and to cultivate them—for example, through meditative exercises.

When you feel angry, the correct response in the eyes of both the Dalai Lama and Western scientific studies is to simply take a time-out: pause to analyze the situation. Where did the anger come from? What factors created it? Is it destructive or constructive?

Confront and analyze your feelings of anger and hatred, and replace them with patience and tolerance.

#10. Get Rid Of Anxiety And Low Self-esteem

Fear, anxiety and worry are things that all people experience from time to time – they are natural responses to certain circumstances – but when they become excessive or constant they can cause serious mental and even physical symptoms, such as weakened immune responses and heart disease.

Excessive anxiety is often related to poor self confidence, and the Dalai Lama feels the antidote for this is to be honest with yourself and others about your capabilities and limitations. If you’re comfortable with your own limits, you can confidently admit when you cannot do something or do not know something, without losing your self esteem in the process.

 

Sometimes low self esteem can reach the extreme of self-hatred, where a person feels completely unworthy and may even contemplate suicide. The antidote to such an extreme mental state is to remind yourself of the marvelous intellect and potential for development within every single human being, including you.

Tibetans contemplate this routinely in their daily meditations, which is most likely why self-hatred is a virtually unknown concept in their society.

To sum it up…

To combat any potential anxiety and low self-confidence, we must examine our thoughts, motives and capabilities honestly.

…And that would be it!

We can all achieve lasting happiness, but only through inner mental discipline – not as a result of external circumstances like wealth or good fortune.

Let’s make this agreement with ourselves and cultivate compassion, spirituality and a supple mind, as these supreme human qualities can significantly help us deal with pain and suffering when they arise.

 

Happiness is that feeling that comes over you when you know life is good and you can’t help it but smile for no particular reason. You tend to be grateful for little things, you seem to be able to relate to strangers much easier and typically feel stronger inter-connectedness with other fellow human beings.

This is something that world could forever use to its greatest extent and yet, it still won’t be enough to spread across the whole population of our planet Earth with some 7.84 billion as of today- February 2021.

Decision is yours and it’s up to every single one of us to begin here and now, so let’s make the world a better place with more joy and happiness together!

By the way, what is your definition of happiness and what do you do to make it last?

Please share your thoughts with me using the comment box below, get in touch with me directly at @fighterpreneur on FB or IG.

Ihave some BIG NEWS to share with you guys! I wanted to announce and invite you to check out my new YT channel @Fighterpreneur’s Life, where I’ll be posting great motivational videos for more inspiration and happiness almost daily.

So, please go ahead and make sure you watch & subscribe- never missing these amazing videos I put together for you, to help you stay motivated and ideally remaining on top of our extraordinary lives we were all gifted with!

There you go, that’s all from me on topic of happiness, so hope you guys enjoyed reading this blog post or listening to my podcast and learned something new once again.

Stay healthy you all, dream big and see you again soon, where I’ll be talking about another key topic of major importance we all need more of in this short attention span and increasingly more and more distracted world, and that is nothing else but FOCUS.

Take care & Peace out!